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The Fireplace's Janitor
I've had it with these motherfucking Suethors in my motherfucking fandom!
Created on 2007-11-02 01:07:51 (#14161532), last updated 2009-08-22
133 comments received, 117 comments posted
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103 Journal Entries, 72 Tags, 0 Memories, 60+ ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 14 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Mexicano27 |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1992-02-27 |
BioI live in Southern California and enjoy watching anime and reading manga. I like writing fanfiction and creating some art. I have profiles in both Fanfiction.net and deviantART.com under the same username.
Naruto Pairings Report Card
In my boredome, I have decided to undertake the daunting task of sifting through the many Naruto pairings and giving them a grade, ranging from A to F. (On the offchance that someone is hoping to get my opinion on One Piece or Hellsing pairings, don't hold your breath. I don't care enough about either fandom to go through each potential match, and both of them are better off without couples anyway.) I have decided to base my grading on several criteria, the most important being how likely the pairing will become canon. "Cuteness" takes a backseat. There are some groundrules, however. All yaoi, yuri, and incest pairings are automatically given an F. They're not legitimate, and I refuse to deal with garbage like that (fun fact: all canon parings are straight). Okay, so lets see how the pairings did...
Sasuke/Sakura: B. I pretty much hate both of these characters. Canon evidence seemes to support this pairing though, so I have no choice but to give them a passing grade.
Naruto/Sakura: C. I really hate Sakura. Unfortunately, canon is beginning to show signs that they like this pairing after all.
Rock Lee/Sakura: C. I like this one a lot better than Sasuke/Sakura, but I have yet to see any good canon evidence. Since cuteness and personal opinion don't count, they scrape by with a passing.
Gaara/Sakura: D. I'm under the impression that this pairing has a rather large fanbase, but I can't really see why. Interaction between these two is minimal, and so it is extremely hard to accurately measure compatibility. Compatible or no, canon offers little evidence to support this pairing, so it gets a failing grade.
Sai/Sakura: D. Though some people support this couple, it seems absurd that Sakura would suddenly develop strong feelings so quickly for a new character. I even like NaruSaku better; she's been around him much longer, and therefore makes a lot more sense.
Kankuro/Sakura: F. I believe no explanation is necessary.
Shikamaru/Sakura: F.
Kakashi/Sakura: F. I really can't imagine this happening. Masashi Kishimoto seems to agree with me.
Kakashi/Anyone Else: F. As much as I would love to imagine him paired up with Anko, there is no evidence to support this or any other pairing involving him. He is cold and unemotional, and interacts very little with any other females his age. Kurenai doesn't count, since she's already been paired up in canon.
Iruka/Anyone Else: F. Maybe he really is gay; I have no idea. However, thinking about him paired up with Shizune somehow seems right and makes me want to laugh.
Akatsuki Members/Anyone Else: F. The only significant example I can find of this is Sakura/Itachi. She hates him for driving her precious Sasuke insane for power, so it would only work in an AU fanfiction. Any other pairings like this are also very weak. I doubt than even fans really take this seriously, so consider this a "gentle" F.
Naruto/Hinata: A. I seriously tried hard to make sure that I was unbiased when giving such a high grade, but I'm not sure if I did. In any case, there is overwhelming canon evidence to support this. Google the NaruHina Manifesto (I think that's what it's called). Screw it, here's the link:
http://community.livejournal.com/ship_manifesto/157549.html
Kiba/Hinata: C. Kiba seems to have a crush on her, and he acts an awful lot like Naruto. The way he tells her to quit if she has to fight Neji or Gaara in the preliminaries is the only clue I can find, but it can easily be interpreted as a brother-sister kind of relationship. They are teammates, after all.
Sasuke/Hinata: D. I personally believe that this pairing deserves to rot in hell. I was highly tempted to just give it an F and forget about it, but I decided to uphold my policy of non-bias. I gave it a D because it seems that they could be compatible, but giving it any higher than that would be going against the evidence of canon. I don't give a rat's ass that they're both dark and quiet; that doesn't mean they're perfect for each other. If Kishimoto really does this pairing, I'm seriously going to burn all my manga volumes and throw away my DVD box sets. I'm not kidding, I hate this pairing that much.
Rock Lee/Hinata: D. I have trouble recalling a single incident where they even talked to each other, but Rock Lee has the same determination that Hinata loves about Naruto, making them semi-compatible. But why would she settle for Rock Lee if she could get the real deal?
Gaara/Hinata: F. They've never met. They are not compatible. Stop following this pairing, for the love of Christ.
Kankuro/Hinata: F.
Shikamaru/Hinata: F.
Sai/Hinata: F.
Gaara/Anyone Else: F. That girl from the filler arc doesn't count.
Kankuro/Anyone Else: F. That would have saved me a bit of typing if I had put it at the very beginning...
Shino/Anyone Else: F. Just getting that out of the way...
Shikamaru/Ino: C. There is a tiny bit of support for this in canon. I don't like it very much, but I'm unbiased in grading. Ino's been trying to chase after Sai, making this pairing even less likely.
Choji/Ino: D. Very little evidence to support this, hence its failing grade.
Sai/Ino: C. I just realized something. I don't give a crap about Ino. If she winds up with this guy, I'll probably forget about what happened to her. I'll probably forget what happened to her even if she commits seppuku.
Naruto/Ino: F.
Rock Lee/Ino: F.
Sasuke/Ino: C.
Shikamaru/Tayuya or Kin: F. They're dead. I think that might create a slight obstacle for a romantic relationship.
Kiba/Anyone Other Than Hinata: F. And since he's not getting his filthy paws on her, that leaves him in a very sorry position indeed.
Shikamaru/Temari: A. Despite the fact that it would be hard to maintain such a long distance relationship, canon is giving overwhelming evidence to support this. The scene where Naruto thinks they're on a date, very similar to the Kurenai/Asuma scene that Kakashi catches, is pretty much the smoking gun of Kishimoto's intentions.
Naruto/Temari: D. She might be one of the only non-Hinata girls to see that he's more than just a container of the demon fox, since she has the vessel Gaara for a little brother. Canon doesn't look upon this pairing favorably, though.
Rock Lee/Temari: F. How could I have given such a low grade to this pairing? It obviously has everything going for it.
Sasuke/Temari: F.
Neji/Tenten: B.
Neji/Anyone Other Than Tenten: F.
Rock Lee/Tenten: C. I was initially under the impression that Tenten had a crush on Lee when they first appeard in the Chunin Exam Arc. Did you notice the way she freaks out when the idea of him being in danger is suggested? And the way she yells at him as if they were an old married couple when they finally save him? Later on, it looks like she has the hots for Neji, so I'm getting really confused about her.
Naruto/Tenten: F.
Shikamaru/Tenten: F.
Sasuke/Tenten: F.
Jiraiya/Tsunade: C. Though this pairing makes some sense, the manga would have to be pretty crappy if they suddenly developed a romantic relationship. Tsunade was in love with Dan, and she was heartbroken enough to leave when he was killed. If she suddenly was in love with Jiraiya, it would pretty much ruin her character. It would be far better if they just remained close comrades.
That's all the pairings I can think of at the moment. I think I've got everything covered. If there's a combination that I missed, it's most likely really stupid and deserves an F anyways.
Naruto Pairings Report Card
In my boredome, I have decided to undertake the daunting task of sifting through the many Naruto pairings and giving them a grade, ranging from A to F. (On the offchance that someone is hoping to get my opinion on One Piece or Hellsing pairings, don't hold your breath. I don't care enough about either fandom to go through each potential match, and both of them are better off without couples anyway.) I have decided to base my grading on several criteria, the most important being how likely the pairing will become canon. "Cuteness" takes a backseat. There are some groundrules, however. All yaoi, yuri, and incest pairings are automatically given an F. They're not legitimate, and I refuse to deal with garbage like that (fun fact: all canon parings are straight). Okay, so lets see how the pairings did...
Sasuke/Sakura: B. I pretty much hate both of these characters. Canon evidence seemes to support this pairing though, so I have no choice but to give them a passing grade.
Naruto/Sakura: C. I really hate Sakura. Unfortunately, canon is beginning to show signs that they like this pairing after all.
Rock Lee/Sakura: C. I like this one a lot better than Sasuke/Sakura, but I have yet to see any good canon evidence. Since cuteness and personal opinion don't count, they scrape by with a passing.
Gaara/Sakura: D. I'm under the impression that this pairing has a rather large fanbase, but I can't really see why. Interaction between these two is minimal, and so it is extremely hard to accurately measure compatibility. Compatible or no, canon offers little evidence to support this pairing, so it gets a failing grade.
Sai/Sakura: D. Though some people support this couple, it seems absurd that Sakura would suddenly develop strong feelings so quickly for a new character. I even like NaruSaku better; she's been around him much longer, and therefore makes a lot more sense.
Kankuro/Sakura: F. I believe no explanation is necessary.
Shikamaru/Sakura: F.
Kakashi/Sakura: F. I really can't imagine this happening. Masashi Kishimoto seems to agree with me.
Kakashi/Anyone Else: F. As much as I would love to imagine him paired up with Anko, there is no evidence to support this or any other pairing involving him. He is cold and unemotional, and interacts very little with any other females his age. Kurenai doesn't count, since she's already been paired up in canon.
Iruka/Anyone Else: F. Maybe he really is gay; I have no idea. However, thinking about him paired up with Shizune somehow seems right and makes me want to laugh.
Akatsuki Members/Anyone Else: F. The only significant example I can find of this is Sakura/Itachi. She hates him for driving her precious Sasuke insane for power, so it would only work in an AU fanfiction. Any other pairings like this are also very weak. I doubt than even fans really take this seriously, so consider this a "gentle" F.
Naruto/Hinata: A. I seriously tried hard to make sure that I was unbiased when giving such a high grade, but I'm not sure if I did. In any case, there is overwhelming canon evidence to support this. Google the NaruHina Manifesto (I think that's what it's called). Screw it, here's the link:
http://community.livejournal.com/ship_manifesto/157549.html
Kiba/Hinata: C. Kiba seems to have a crush on her, and he acts an awful lot like Naruto. The way he tells her to quit if she has to fight Neji or Gaara in the preliminaries is the only clue I can find, but it can easily be interpreted as a brother-sister kind of relationship. They are teammates, after all.
Sasuke/Hinata: D. I personally believe that this pairing deserves to rot in hell. I was highly tempted to just give it an F and forget about it, but I decided to uphold my policy of non-bias. I gave it a D because it seems that they could be compatible, but giving it any higher than that would be going against the evidence of canon. I don't give a rat's ass that they're both dark and quiet; that doesn't mean they're perfect for each other. If Kishimoto really does this pairing, I'm seriously going to burn all my manga volumes and throw away my DVD box sets. I'm not kidding, I hate this pairing that much.
Rock Lee/Hinata: D. I have trouble recalling a single incident where they even talked to each other, but Rock Lee has the same determination that Hinata loves about Naruto, making them semi-compatible. But why would she settle for Rock Lee if she could get the real deal?
Gaara/Hinata: F. They've never met. They are not compatible. Stop following this pairing, for the love of Christ.
Kankuro/Hinata: F.
Shikamaru/Hinata: F.
Sai/Hinata: F.
Gaara/Anyone Else: F. That girl from the filler arc doesn't count.
Kankuro/Anyone Else: F. That would have saved me a bit of typing if I had put it at the very beginning...
Shino/Anyone Else: F. Just getting that out of the way...
Shikamaru/Ino: C. There is a tiny bit of support for this in canon. I don't like it very much, but I'm unbiased in grading. Ino's been trying to chase after Sai, making this pairing even less likely.
Choji/Ino: D. Very little evidence to support this, hence its failing grade.
Sai/Ino: C. I just realized something. I don't give a crap about Ino. If she winds up with this guy, I'll probably forget about what happened to her. I'll probably forget what happened to her even if she commits seppuku.
Naruto/Ino: F.
Rock Lee/Ino: F.
Sasuke/Ino: C.
Shikamaru/Tayuya or Kin: F. They're dead. I think that might create a slight obstacle for a romantic relationship.
Kiba/Anyone Other Than Hinata: F. And since he's not getting his filthy paws on her, that leaves him in a very sorry position indeed.
Shikamaru/Temari: A. Despite the fact that it would be hard to maintain such a long distance relationship, canon is giving overwhelming evidence to support this. The scene where Naruto thinks they're on a date, very similar to the Kurenai/Asuma scene that Kakashi catches, is pretty much the smoking gun of Kishimoto's intentions.
Naruto/Temari: D. She might be one of the only non-Hinata girls to see that he's more than just a container of the demon fox, since she has the vessel Gaara for a little brother. Canon doesn't look upon this pairing favorably, though.
Rock Lee/Temari: F. How could I have given such a low grade to this pairing? It obviously has everything going for it.
Sasuke/Temari: F.
Neji/Tenten: B.
Neji/Anyone Other Than Tenten: F.
Rock Lee/Tenten: C. I was initially under the impression that Tenten had a crush on Lee when they first appeard in the Chunin Exam Arc. Did you notice the way she freaks out when the idea of him being in danger is suggested? And the way she yells at him as if they were an old married couple when they finally save him? Later on, it looks like she has the hots for Neji, so I'm getting really confused about her.
Naruto/Tenten: F.
Shikamaru/Tenten: F.
Sasuke/Tenten: F.
Jiraiya/Tsunade: C. Though this pairing makes some sense, the manga would have to be pretty crappy if they suddenly developed a romantic relationship. Tsunade was in love with Dan, and she was heartbroken enough to leave when he was killed. If she suddenly was in love with Jiraiya, it would pretty much ruin her character. It would be far better if they just remained close comrades.
That's all the pairings I can think of at the moment. I think I've got everything covered. If there's a combination that I missed, it's most likely really stupid and deserves an F anyways.
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